scenes of her without me

It’s not her company I need, but to know that she won’t need mine, or that she won’t not need it. I imagine scenes of her without me, and I become so jealous. She will marry and have children and touch what I could never approach – all things that should make me happy. I cannot tell her this dream, of course, but I want to so desperately. She is the only thing that matters.

Everything Is Illuminated
Jonathan Safran Foer